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This guy who is not right for me is blocking my sight, blocking my light to find what I truly seek. I've been too meek in the way I've handled things so far. I have so many scars that need to be healed, so many wounds gone unconcealed. So many heartbreaks so many times in a row, I feel as though my mind and soul are being pulled in by an undertow. Deep down in my despair, I'm only looking for a good man to console me, to hold me down when I'm ready to run. To never be ashamed of me, to proclaim to all he knows he'll never let me go. I see all these diamond couples everywhere it seems on the street. Is it a crime that I desire something just like that? A relationship to last, someone to be there for me steadfast. It should not be too much to ask. This is my heart's crying out for anyone who will hear. I have no fear of what the world precipices of me, this is my therapy. The keyboard is mightier than the sword. It ruins me every time it seems, I type the things that drive men a
Forlorn Disillusionment IIForlorn Disillusionment II
Why must cupid shoot his trajectory in my direction? All my life my soul has been searching and never finding, seeking but never gaining. It's still the same, this sense of malaise, this daze, this fog, this unbridled, never subsided grog I'm under. I fall for a guy, head over heels, I think I can sense that he feels the same way, but I set myself up for defeat. I wish I could take a seat, away from the arena, away from the gladiator battlefield of hearts. But I can't. I seek still for stars in the eyes of a man whom I know I'll never find. I don't understand why I can't keep a man. I'm beautiful, I'm sensitive, and kind, witty, and charming. It is it just my lot in life? Do I scare them away with my gumption for love when all they desire is lust? Feeling disillusioned towards the entire scenario of casual fellatio. That's never what I wanted, I desire something more, something concrete. Something more than just chemistry under the sheets.
Life becomes light only if and when you allow it to be. Only when you see can you become colourblind and truly kind to every soul, no matter what ancient kin they hold from their ancestors of old who made them appear the way they are now. We are all people no matter what facial features we have. It makes me sad to see racism, sexism, even ageism. Whenever you discriminate on someone for any given reason you put them in a cage with your sin, you sell your own soul for a wage. Gay, straight, black, white it doesn't matter we are all human beings with the capability of being kind and sharing love and light. Just try to be laid back towards more, don't keep anyone from being able to soar. You'd not want to be fettered either, return the favor.
For a large part of my life I tried to disappear. Based on fear. Fear of how I would be accepted from the world around me, fear of the unknown, fear of the seeds of malice that could possibly be sown. Only until last year I put it on my list to seek out the company of others, but it's led me down that dark path once more. I said to myself last year before this search for romance I'd take a stance on abstinence from that life, seeking only friendships. Someone I met by happenstance filled my mind with bad advice for me personally. I told them I was only looking for a friend and not a companion, and they argued with me veraciously, made me feel less of a human being for my choice to express my voice, for my choice to have my own individuality by myself without the aide of another soul to satisfy the hole that I thought was there. I was scared. I didn't want to end up old and alone at that point, so I met up with a man from my past who tore my fragile esteem down even more. I'm onl
Love makes you crazy, happy, sad, angry, mad, giddy, silly, jealous, and zealous. Love is a demon and an angel.
Space is a lonely place, so cold away from the human race. So beautiful, so mysterious,
so dark yet so stark, scary and even deadly. Life out here is not for the faint of heart.
Torn away from your family for long periods of time it should be a crime to select this type
of lifestyle. Yet, we travel on like the master sea captains of old because we are explorers
conquering a bold new horizon we've set our eyes on.
There is a light so tiny in my heart burning in the night. This light tells me through the slew of onslaughts I face during the day, if I keep my sight on my goal for a better life I will be alright. There are times I feel when people and events beyond my control stole my light. Yet through it all, the light hears my beckoned call. If I only knew what my future holds in store, daily life would seem like less of a chore. I persevere, I steer my thoughts and emotion to a time in my future when everything goes smoothly again, like lotion. This lotion will be to me an aloe vera ointment, healing my disappointment and discontentment I have endured the past few years. I do not often cry, but I did tonight. I prayed and cried for a better life. My tears brought me healing I could not even begin to express. I reached down deep to my core and pulled up success. I began to feel less of a stress, less of a mess, less of a wreck. The daily grind can tear up anyone's mind. Now my entire life i
Thank you to my silent guides. The angels around me who comfort me in times of sorrow, protect me from the cuts of danger that come near. Their white-gold feathered wings sing songs of solace, their halos beam bright shining up the night dispelling evil, guarding against the devil. Without Michael and the others, Raphael, Muriel, Ariel, and Marmonel I would be lost in utter despair. Their purposes each tell a vivid story, they are livid against the foes of God. Intrepid beings full of pure grace, always patient, never doing anything out of haste. They bless me with their mercy gifted to them by the creator of all things, they help my mind sort through and get sifted through the lies that would cloud my judgment with pure brilliance and goodness sent from above. They have such love for me, immeasurable, and abundant, and without them I know I would truly fall. They are nearby, near to my beckon call willing to help me in times of trouble, willing to forgive when I am at my most c
Escape from a Spider's WebEscape from a Spider's Web
Another page turns in my life, I'm making a move in this chess game that seems more sage to me now. Less heartache will be a result of this I'm sure, less drama, less pain. Perhaps I can get back into kinder karma now, perhaps I can become more sane. I'm tired of everything I've had to endure since I plugged in this little black box to the lead ball and chain known as the world wide web. I'm sure it's an abyss, it's caused me nothing but determent, made me greedier, made me unkind to those I care about most, cruel and disrespectful like a domino effect of sorrow passed from one viscous barb of another to me, then to their unsuspecting soul attacked by the cold. I remember a time long before, a time of pure bliss and this was brought on by my kindness, everyone wanted to befriend me because of the light that emanated from within. Now the sin I've committed against my own soul has left me cold, and bitter not someone I desire to be in the least. I'm not a quitt
Masquerading FlowersPink and white ruffles
bend and sway as
green leaves and thick stalks
waltz their blooms
through a balmy breeze.
taste-test the air,
sweeping for danger;
faux petals move
an inch at a time
high above the forest floor.
A vibrant orchid mantis
plays it cool
and takes it slow,
masquerading as a still-life
in a mobile world.
FireThe fiery warmth.
The sparks of red and orange.
Destructive, passionate, yet mesmerizing.
In an instant, it can take away a life through its destructive ways.
But yet, it can save a life with its warm embrace.
The fire spreads.
The tongues of flame licking at the fuel,
Its light throwing shadows dancing across your face.
Dangerous, yet safe.
Angry, but calm.
Harmless, until one spark lets loose.
Then the fire is free.
The master of chaos,
Hidden beneath a façade.
Wait until the veil crumbles,
To reveal its true power
rumex acetosaHer roots run far and-
Deep underneath our feet
Her leaves provide extra flavor for our greedy tongues-
And give our pain relief
But beware if you are to take too much-
Pain would be the least of your worries…
Monarch MorningsMistress Monarch spreads
over white-capped mountains,
a new dawn seen through
thin antennae masks
and yellow-trimmed lace.
I have a bouquet of light
of shattered sunrays
that shun those
whose rose is not as rubicund
or whose cerulean is only slightly sea-green-stained.
Slice up the white
and imprison it in sardine cans
and push the plungers home.
But no matter how much you may try
the result is death;
for you've frayed the perfect threads
And only dried minerals and plasma
some darker version of the cosmic latte concentrated.
My heart is a prism.
All that's around me
some hibernating humming
frozen beneath the winter's coat.
I must be a time machine,
because I cannot abide this monochrome much longer.
And I've sprung forward to spring.
I'm seizing the icicles
that drip from the pallid clouds
and stripping them
and cutting them
and setting them
and in my heart they are transcribed
and flowers bloom
in the rumination of the sunlight.
a host to the aquatic fermentation
and I sip this bouquet
an imitation of the future,
In a momentary fall
Prodding the air
Crushed with the rest
Melt like your brethren
I never liked you anyway
Little foxMy little fox, you say you hate
fire, but i don't like you are
ice. Oh little fox looking that
me look like I was the one you fell
in love with, but I am the wolf, that
bring fire to the wood, but yet you
still look at me like I am the one you
fell in love with. I bring pain to the wood,
bring pain to you, and you still give me your
love. So i will leave so that to never hurt you
again, I love you my little fox.
The Blue CurseIn the fit of rage,
At the stupidity of mankind,
The rain was fiercely angry,
And in her anger,
Long ago, in the storm,
The rain cursed mankind.
The curse burned deeper
Than the brightest red,
Not bringing about senseless anger,
But instead a heartbreaking sadness
That broke them,
But left them alive.
It was blue tears,
And those blue feelings,
That ruined them.
From blue gave birth to the other colors.
For what comes from sadness but change?
So blue became sadness.
Each generation of mankind,
Turned bluer, and with each lifetime
The sky turned grayer.
Until it was but a pitch black.
And the rain was satisfied
With her work.
And the Blue Curse
Time relates to rain. Days go slowly, or quickly, these factors depend on how lazy or active one is, how creative or malaised one is, so sectors of time, little widgets we keep track of to seep into the flack we allow ourselves can be compared to falling skies of water or even fire. Once a flickering ember, growing stronger, or a drizzle that torrentially becomes a cripple, even a gust so strong it brings out a thrust like a hurricane. Time can make someone go insane figuratively, eventually literally if left to our own devices. The indecisiveness begins to lift with counsel from a friend or confidante, then once more we become nonchalant. Easily filled with boredom, then we go again, and find something to occupy our mind and recommence back to feeling a sense of freedom again. Time never ends. It's continually moving. There is even a theory that it is looping, and as we do see even in our frame of mind history repeats itself. Now in this instant which has already passed as you re
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More